Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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