Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
