There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
sarcasm needs its own font
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
