I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
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