this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
