so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It's never too late to be topless.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
