we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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