best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
