whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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