Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize