Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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