Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
