Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.