Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize