He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
