When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
