You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
