Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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