i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
