You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
