she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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