just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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