The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
