Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
