I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
