We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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