im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
