glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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