Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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