Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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