Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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