I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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