I'm pants shitting drunk right now
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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