On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
