Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize