I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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