How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
