Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
There r osticjed everywhere
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
