One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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