she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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