Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
