my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
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