guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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