There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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