If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
