why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
