if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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