We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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