Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Also, beer. Big fan.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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