Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
