idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
