May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
