I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
