I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
