i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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