I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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