yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
