If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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