I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
