his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
