Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
